Faded Bright Lights
by sister mismagius
Summary: He seemed to be so happy before there was a downfall, and now everyone will soon regret their mistake they have made.


**A/N: Yo guys! So, someone requested this, and of course, I am in the mood, so I accepted it! This is depressing, it has no ships. This contains self-harm, bad thoughts, eating disorders, and other angsty themes. DO NOT READ IF THIS TRIGGERS YOU, SORRY THIS BOOK IS NOT FOR YOU! Okay stay tuned for more books, thank you! Enjoy this one-shot!**

 **DISCLAIMER: The Llayla belongs to 'Llayla Garmadon' on 'Google +' and 'Peaches' belongs to ' ' on ' ' Thanks! Also, I DO NOT OWN NINJAGO! OR THE MOVIE!**

* * *

 **Faded Bright Lights, Chapter 1**

 _"He's the green ninja, didn't he hurt his dad?"_

 _"Lloyd's the green ninja?"_

 _"He's just a wannabe."_

 _"He almost killed his friends!"_

 _"He's a murderer!"_

 _"I feel unsafe for him being one of our protectors.."_

 _"His father will turn evil again, and he'll join him and we'll be slaves!"_

 **"He was destroying the city..."**

 **"Am I not good enough..?"**

 **"But I was the first to be the green ninja..."**

 **"It was an accident! I'm a teenager I make mistakes too!"**

 **"I'm not a murderer…"**

 **"But people used to look up to me?"**

 **"My father is good! Even then I wouldn't do that! You guys don't even know me!"**

 **"Why can't I be happy too? I'm just like all of you..."**

* * *

He thought revealing his green ninja identity would make things easier, but it made things much worse. He didn't mean to hurt his dad, his dad was doing something wrong, he was trying to help the city, was he actually being the villain here?  
Lloyd was a sixteen-year-old, he was in high school and life for him was terrible. Everywhere he went he received glares, comments, and insults. The only place he felt safe from the hate was in his house, or in training but even in then people had their fights. His uncle fought with Garmadon, Koko and Garmadon fought, Garmadon and Lloyd fought, and Lloyd and his friends fought, and no one knew how he felt.  
Ever since he unmasked himself he started to feel more depressed, he felt so different. He felt as if he was worthless, waste of space, waste of air, one big nothing. Lloyd wore a mask besides the one on his gi, he wore a mask of happiness to cover his real self. To cover his pain. It was so painful, everything was for him. Lloyd went back into old bad habits, and it's hilarious to him how no one ever found out.

Here was Lloyd now hunched over the toilet, two fingers down his throat. People called him fat, at first, he didn't believe it but after they kept saying it he started to believe it. "Go lose some weight!", "If you're going to be a ninja you need to lose some of the extra weight!", I can't believe a tub is a green ninja.", and the comments about his weight didn't end there. Lloyd felt himself gag as bile came up his throat, and into the toilet. Lloyd had tears in his eyes, he was silently crying.

"Why is this still hurting? Is it because of guilt, or hatred for myself?"

Lloyd smiled as his lip quivered as tears streamed down his cheeks. The blonde couldn't help but have an urge. And urge to eat, he was always hungry these days. He'd eat, and eat and his mother and father had no clue why. They just saw he just grew and appetite since he was maturing, oh they were wrong, very wrong. His weird urge to eat is because he was starving himself, he was fat he needed to lose the weight.

Lloyd wiped his lips with a paper towel, before dragging his body to the sink as he looked in the mirror. He had dark bags under his eyes, his hair was a mess, he was a mess lately. He jumped when he heard his father's slick voice. "Luh-Lloyd! I need to go to the bathroom!" Lloyd heard his father hastily say. Lloyd just flushed the toilet, and washed his hands before coming out of the bathroom, and getting rid of any signs of his sick deeds. "Yeah, yeah dad. Didn't need to rush me." Lloyd rolled his eyes as his father gave Lloyd a playful glare, before walking into the bathroom. Lloyd walked to his room, as locked the door behind him. The blonde then collapsed on his bed, he bit his lip as he couldn't hold back any more of the tears.

 **"Do they even love me..? Am I still worth something to them..?"**

* * *

Lloyd groaned as his father nudged him, then he started to shake him, and then… He just jumped onto Lloyd's bed. Lloyd's eyes shot open, as he glared. "Dad! Get off of my bed." Lloyd somewhat demanded, he groaned as the world around him spun. It then stood still. Lloyd rolled off his bed as he got up, the blonde stood up as he tried to shoo off his dad. "Dad, go away. I need to get ready for school!" Lloyd whined, he was half asleep. Garmadon gave Lloyd a look, before sighing. "Yeah, go get ready." The father said before walking out.

Lloyd got his green hoodie, his shirt, and pants out as he dragged himself to the bathroom. He took his clothes he had on as he stepped into the shower. He adjusted the shower to be pretty hot, Lloyd took his green razor from his bag. He let the razor slide against his skin, he pressed it deeply but not too deep. Lloyd smiled as he saw the blood beaded up on his wrist, and trickle down his arm. Lloyd let out a dry, shakey, self-hating laugh. Again he repeated his actions, he cut himself over and over again. He felt all the pain, not by the razor by how worthless he thought he was, how fat he thought he was, how stupid he thought he was. Once, Lloyd was done he washed off the razor and stepped out of the shower. He put bandages on his arms and legs, then he got dressed. After Lloyd was done with his business he went downstairs. Koko waved to him. "Lloyd! Breakfas-" Koko was cut off by Lloyd. "I would mom, but I'll be late. Already missed the bus, I'll walk with Kai though." Lloyd said with a smile, as he looked away. Garmadon was suspicious. He looked away. "This is why I favorite Llayla." He muttered to himself, Koko smacked Garmadon's leg. "Alright, son... Tell Kai we said hi.."Koko muttered Lloyd nodded as he walked out.

Tears were in Lloyd's eyes while he walked out, why? Because he knew they favorited Llayla, they probably hated him. Lloyd hid the tears by putting the hood over his head. The tears soon stopped when he walked into the school doors, he then put his hood down. He lied to his parents about walking with Kai and Nya, he always did. Lloyd dreaded coming here, why? Because of the emotional abuse they gave him, it hurt. It always did. Lloyd coughed as he heard someone scoff. He automatically knew who it was, Chen. "Look it's the green ninja!" Everyone laughed, is that all he was to them? A comedy?

"Greenie! Why are you ignoring us? We just want to have fun!" **Stop it, Chen, please... I'm not in the mood for this.** "You going to cry?" **No, but I'm about to actually murder you.** Chen kept insulting him and insulting him and that's when he snapped. He slapped Chen. Everyone was shocked at Lloyd's outburst. A teacher then walked over to Lloyd and handed him a detention slip, "Saturday morning, _**Garmadon**._" The teacher spat, Lloyd just snatched the slip stuffed it in his book bag, and walked to his friend group. He smiled at them, his lip quivered as his eye twitched but no one noticed it, it then stopped. "Lloyd, we heard what happened," Jay muttered, as he looked away. Llayla gave Lloyd a quick hug before he pulled away. "Dad is going to kill you, and I can't bail you out on any more outbursts.." Llayla sighed, as she gave Lloyd an apologetic look. "You never got detention dude! That's my thing! Even then, I didn't get one this time for Saturday…" Kai tried to comfort, he knew he failed though. Lloyd shrugged. "I don't really care though.." Lloyd let out a nervous laugh, but it convinced them but Llayla was suspicious.

Lloyd walked away from the group as he walked to class. He kept his head down low, he took a deep breath as he shook. He sighed as he heard the snarky comments from the other students.

 _"He hit Chen, ninja_ do _not do that…"_

 **I'm good I promise, he was insulting...**

 _"What kind of green ninja would hit somebody?"_

 **I make mistakes too!**

 _"I think he's bipolar."_

 **But I'm not.**

 _"I heard even his family hates him."_

 **Your right, they do but I still love them.**

Lloyd tried to shut out the comments, he tried the best he could. He couldn't break down in front of them, no he could not. Lloyd's lip quivered, as tears started to leak from his eyes, they didn't show. Lloyd quickly made it to class, as he sat in his sit. He put his head on the desk. He silently cried, and no one knew thankfully, but he did see the teachers worried glance once, and that got Lloyd shaken up.

The bell rang as everyone spilled out of the room, Lloyd got up his eyes a puffy red but then he heard a female voice. "Lloyd, can I see you after class?" _**Oh no, she saw…**_ "Sure," Lloyd said, with a shaky voice. He walked up to her, with a small smile. "I have noticed in my classes you seem really close up, very distant. I also noticed you crying today. Is everything alright?" The young female asked. Lloyd nodded. "Yeah, everything is perfect! Just some stress from going to detention, school, and homework, everything is good." Lloyd stated, he wasn't lying but he wasn't telling all the truth. "Well okay then, if you need anything you can always-" She was cut off by Lloyd's voice. "Yeah, I know. I will, Ms. Anna." Lloyd said before walking out of the school, and to the training dojo, Wu had, well it was more like a warehouse that had a dojo inside it Wu owned. Jay instantly looked away from Lloyd as he muttered something to himself, Llayla gave Lloyd a hug. "Bro, I missed you like a lot. And guess what Peaches is here!" The blonde said happily, the girl in the corner rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, yeah I'm here." She said with a smirk, Kai put an arm around Peaches, but Peaches slapped Kai's arm away. Kai frowned before having a smirk and moving away. Lloyd smiled, as he started to train until they were practicing Spinjitzu and he bumped into Peaches, and she fell and Kai made a fit. Kai pushed Lloyd to the ground as he picked up Peaches. Peaches gave Kai a dirty a look, as Lloyd got up slowly, his feet below him wobbling. Kai took Lloyd's shoulders and shook him a bit. Lloyd winced, as he looked down. "Why would you, bump into her like that, huh!?" Kai spat. He seemed off his rocker for a second. "TELL ME!" Kai yelled. Lloyd had tears forming but he blinked them away.

"I-It was an accident!"

"Bullshit!" Kai swore as he put his arms around the blonde's neck and started to choke him. Lloyd gasped, as he dug his nails onto Kai's hand, and then everyone saw when Lloyd's sleeves rose up and Ka saw bandages, and he saw a scar. Kai dropped the blonde as he touched Lloyd's shoulder, Lloyd pushed him as he ran ignoring Llayla's, Peaches', Kai's Jay's, Cole's, Zane's, and Wu's voices as he ran. He ran into the apartment that Koko and Garmadon were in, Lloyd had a sigh of relief when he remembered Llayla was having a sleepover with Peaches, at Peaches' house.

Lloyd opened the door, to see his mother not home and his father there, angry. Lloyd took a deep breath, he winced when he heard his father's slick tone, that was calm.

 _"Lloyd…"_

 ** _I'm screwed…_**

The former evil guy walked over to the teen boy as he gave him a cold stare before that stare turned into a glare. "Dad! Hey! How was your day?" Lloyd asked he was trying to hide his nervousness. Lloyd's fingers twitched for a second as the former Dark Lord came to him. Even though he used to be evil, it still angered him when his son did irresponsible actions. He had to be a father, why? Well, he wanted Koko to love him and she did say to prove it to her, to be with the family, be in the family. Garmadon was trying to be a dad, bad sometimes while most of the time, Lloyd was stubborn and it caused fights.

"Why did you punch Chen?" He asked as he scolded with a low tone. Lloyd shrugged, as he held he rubbed his wrist, and looked away from the older male. "Lloyd, I know you know. I can see right through you, why would attack him?" The former Dark Lord asked, as in he was saying it in a scolding manner. Lloyd was silent, he looked ashamed. In his mind, it was another thing he was going to cut himself or abuse himself for. "Tell me!" Garmadon commanded. "He was making fun of me, I deal with it every day! He snapped, dad! I'm sorry I'm not as perfect as you!" Lloyd retorted back, as he clenched his hands into fists.

"Are you talking back to me?" Garmadon asked as he glared. "Maybe! You know you always love to pick fights with me! What am I, rotten meat? Sorry, I'm not Llayla, sorry I'm a ninja, sorry I'm not Peaches!" Lloyd spat, Garmadon looked confused for a second. "Peaches? That sweet girl, who Kai's dating?" Garmadon asked, Lloyd, rolled his eyes. "Yes! Don't you dare lie and say you don't want to replace me with her or Jay, because you told me that to my face many times! Well, I'm sorry I was born!" Garmadon sighed. "Lloyd-" He was cut off by the angry blonde. "No! All you do is hate and hate and hate! I am sorry you decided to get into mom's pants, it wasn't my choice it was you and her! It was your decision! You knew the consequences!" Lloyd shot at him, Garmadon was surprised at this part of his son, this part of him seemed depressing to the Dark Lord, he felt bad.

"Everyday when I come home, you never ask me how was my day, or things but criticize me! Mom has to tell you to stop and she has to ask me! It's kind of sad when you finally admit to yourself that your dad hates you, and if you do love me you have a sick way of showing it." At this point Lloyd was in tears, the green ninja having a waterfall of tears rushing down his cheeks like no tomorrow. Garmadon stepped towards his son, but Lloyd pushed him away and ran to his room.

Lloyd collided on to his bed, he already locked the door. He had tears to cry, and he had a good amount too. Lloyd slipped the razor that was in his bag in slid against his wrist with no mercy. He found some sick pleasure out of hurting himself and seeing the scars there. He then took his mom Flat Iron he had in his bag, his mom thought he threw it away he took it to use for harming his delicate self.

* * *

 _"For being such an idiot."_

 ** _Cut._**

 _"For being a terrible son."_

 ** _Cut. Cut._**

 _"For making Kai, Peaches, Llayla, Jay, Cole, Zane, and everyone hate me."_

 ** _Cut. Cut. Cut._**

 _"For hurting Chen."_

 ** _Cut. Cut. Cut. Cut._**

 _"For being the green ninja."_

 _Cut. Cut. Cut. Cut. Cut._

 _"For making my dad hate me."_

 ** _Cut. Burn. Cut. Burn. Burn. Burn. Cut. Cut. Cut. Burn._**

"Wow, I'm really sick and twisted, I told my father that and I'm much worse." Lloyd laughed, as he put the razor and Flat Iron in his bag, as he curled up in his bed sheets and try to get some sleep, ignoring all the thoughts and distractions.

Lloyd woke up when he saw his mom nudging him awake, Lloyd opened his eyes, as he saw Koko smiling. "Lloyd, come on. Dinner is ready." Her soft voice soothed, as she brushed the blonde hair out of Lloyd's face. "Mm no, I'm tired I don't want dinner…" He moaned, as he turned himself over. He was thanking himself for having long sleeves or his scars would have been showing by now.

"Lloyd you need to eat for training early in the morning tomorrow and breakfast. You don't eat with us much anymore, you usually just take your food to your room or eat quickly, which isn't healthy… Lloyd, I'm getting worried is everything alright?" Koko asked as she petted Lloyd's hair as a mother would do with a child when they needed to be comforted. Lloyd sat up and looked away, a sad glint was caught in his eye which his mother noticed. "Lloyd, just please tell me what is wrong.." His mother pleaded as she kissed his forehead. Lloyd sighed.

"...When people look at me they see a monster, they feel uncomfortable, frightened… People used to look up to me, call me their hero, but now I'm risking my life to save them only to be treated differently like I'm inhuman." Koko looked at Lloyd as she listened, Lloyd carried on. "I am always made fun of, called Bipolar, idiot, told to kill myself constantly. Not like a would kill myself, I cherish my life." Lloyd let out a dry laugh, he actually did want to end himself, he wanted to take a gun and blow his head off his shoulders. He wanted to die. Lloyd had to admit it felt good letting his feelings out and expressing his emotions. "And, I fight with my dad always! He constantly says he wished he had Llayla and just Llayla, or Peaches and Llayla, or even Jay and Llayla! He casts it to me and just smirks every time I look heartbroken! I love my dad, I look up to him, but I'm wondering where did I go wrong?" Lloyd sighed, as Koko hugged the blonde. She didn't know her son was feeling this, while she was at work. "I've been fighting with my friends, especially Kai. Kai is always on my tail, he is always making sometimes snarky comments now. I would ask but then again I have no time. I had a fight with Kai today, I accidentally pushed Peaches and she fell. I didn't mean to, I was half asleep? I was tired. I have hand marks on my neck from him trying to choke me to scare me but I kind of knew he wouldn't." Lloyd said sheepishly, but dryly.  
Koko let go of her son as she smiled. "Come to dinner, I made your favorite dumplings. I know your father yelled at you for getting detention but it happens, I understand. I love you still with one or without. And Kai still likes you and so does Garmadon, he just he doesn't know how to express it. It's hard for him." Koko soothed again, Lloyd nodded as he got out of bed.

Koko and Lloyd walked downstairs and to the dinner table. Lloyd sat down in his usual seat, as his mother placed dumplings in front of him. Lloyd played with his food, as his mother poured him Kool-aid in a glass for the blonde. She ruffled his hair as she went to get Garmadon. While she was gone Lloyd took the time to look at his cuts, scratches, and burns. He also took the time to pull his shirt up and see his ribs. Lloyd tugged his shirt down, as she pulled his sleeves down soon after. Lloyd still played with his food, Lloyd then jumped in his seat, startled.

 _"You made him his favorite, even though he was bad!? You're a crazy woman…"_

 _Lloyd got up and walked to the room they were talking in, he listened through the door, hiding. They weren't aware of Lloyd's presence, not at all._

 _"Yeah, but you already made him feel bad enough Garm!'_

 _"You need to be more strict, Kokes!"_

 _"I'm sorry I am worried for my son's mental health if you hadn't noticed he is bullied by mostly every single person in the city! He saves them and they repay him with the old kick in the shins!"_

 _"Kokes, he doesn't care! He ignores them!"_

 _"Yeah, he totally doesn't care! He comes home more depressed every day! And you fighting with him isn't helping, you know!"_

 _"Kokes-"_

 _"No! A couple days ago I tried to wake him up, and he didn't even want to wake up, Garm!"_

 _"Koko he wanted to sleep in."_

 _"No, he didn't! He doesn't want to face anyone! Because he doesn't want to be hated! I have noticed how sad he's been? No! You haven't and I'm disappointed…"_

Lloyd just stopped hearing their conversation and went back to the table trying to fight the tears that were collecting in his eyes. The fork in his hand shook, as everything was blurry from the tears that were in his eyes. He let some fall as his breaths were shakey, Garmadon and Koko walked in and saw their son, shaking, with shaky breaths and tears streaming down his cheeks like a waterfall.

Garmadon and Koko witnessed their son, the two were heartbroken. They saw him holding his head, and crying, no downright sobbing. Koko nudged Garmadon since she knew he probably heard them, Garmadon saw Koko's glare and walked over to his son, and right when he touched him he saw Lloyd look up. Garmadon could see the bags under his eyes, the dazed and void look in his eye, and he could see the tears gushing down his face. Garmadon was heartbroken when he saw his son like this, he went to give him a hug but Lloyd pushed him away and ran upstairs.

Lloyd locked his door as he felt tears run down his cheeks. His hands shook, as he started to bang his head against the door. Lloyd walked to his bag and took out his razor, and started to cut up his arms, legs, shoulders, stomach, everywhere. It felt as if he was not good enough, he felt like he needed to punish himself. Lloyd eventually got tired and went into his bed, his eyes still open, due to his insomnia. Lloyd took at a scrapbook and smiled at the memories, the memories that he will soon abandon.

* * *

Lloyd woke up as he stretched, he got up got a shower, got dressed, then walked downstairs. He ignored all the questions they asked him, he shut them out. Lloyd walked out the door to walk to school. They all knew where he was going, it was Saturday, detention day.

Lloyd huffed as he walked into the large doors of the school. Lloyd was getting a private detention since he was a 'Garmadon,' and Garmadon's weren't so good, well that's what they thought. The blonde walked up the flight of stairs as he walked through the door, and sat at the desk, the teacher glared him down. Lloyd looked away. The teacher coughed.

"Do you know why you're sitting here today, Garmadon?"

Lloyd jumped as he kept his head down, his eyes were stinging. Lloyd nodded, "Yes s-sir.." He muttered Lloyd's folded hands shook like a leaf, his whole body shook. The teacher scoffed. "Well, you hit someone and picking a fight is against the rules. You know that." **Yeah, People pick fights with me and threaten me all the time and you don't seem to notice.** Lloyd coughed as he nodded, the teacher brushed the hair out of his face. The female felt her heart drop when she saw tears collecting in his eyes, and when she looked down she saw cuts. The female put an arm on his shoulder but Lloyd pushed her arm off and left, he just started to run, he ran home as he locked himself in his room and instead of a razor he got a knife. He started to carve things into his skin.

 _"Loser"_

People called him a loser, that he wasn't smart he was a nobody. Lloyd believed it, and he carved the word into his right wrist.

 _"Wannabe"_

People called him a wannabe because he wanted to help, and be so many things. A ninja, a good son, but people turned his title as a green ninja to a wannabe. He carved it into his left wrist.

 _"Greedy"_  
Lloyd wanted to have a family, to have a father, to be loved, but he was called greedy for wanting to have those. He was called greedy for that. It got a place on his left thigh.

 _"Murderer"_

He couldn't save everyone, as much as he tried people died. During when his father was in control, during when everything was normal, and just every day, he couldn't save everyone. So people gave him this title, he carved this into his right thigh.

 _"Worthless"_

This one had to be the deepest. This was everything Lloyd didn't do, tried to do, and failed to do. He failed as a son, as a friend, and as a student. Lloyd though this and this earned a spot on his chest, Lloyd smiled as he mad deep cuts everywhere. He watched as the blood spilled out of his body, it was just so satisfying to him, to watch himself die. To watch him cease from this world, and that's when Lloyd closed his eyes, and let go of his final breath. Sirens were heard, as people were screaming and crying. The green ninja was rushed to the hospital, everyone felt guilty, the citizens, Koko, the ninja, Wu, and Garmadon he felt the worse. Saddest part yet is Garmadon is the one who found him, Garmadon had fiery tears that were just streaming down his cheeks.

* * *

They eventually got to the emergency room, but they were told to wait outside. Garmadon felt himself shake, the ex-demon lord was crying, yearning to see his son alive and happy. He regretted every word he said, Koko was right, he didn't notice, he didn't at all.

Everyone was emotional, sad, depressed even. There was an aurora and it left off a depressing tint.

They were finally allowed in, it was hours they have been waiting. Garmadon was the first to go in, he held his son's hand, as he muttered apologies. "Son, son. Please... I am sorry, so sorry. I wasn't there, Luh-Lloyd. I should've noticed! I love you, just please.." Garmadon begged, sobbing at this point, it was so silent besides the sobbing of the father.  
Everything stood so still when Garmadon felt a grip on his hand, as his son's eyes fluttered open. Lloyd started to cough out blood, as he held his father's hand.

 _"Father I'm dying.."_

 _"I know son, I love you."_

 _"I love you too…"_

 _"Will I see grandpa, dad?"_

 _"Y-Yes you will…" Garmadon was flat out dying on the inside at this moment._

 _"I'll see you in heaven, I love you.."_

 _"I'll see you too, I love you, and I'm sorry."_

 _"I forgive... You dad…"_

 **And then he** _**flatlined.**_


End file.
